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Friday, January 16, 2015

Making plans with uninvited endo

     Making friends prior to being diagnosed with endometriosis was proven difficult.  It didn't get any easier post diagnosis.  Countless times I've had to cancel due to extreme pain or discomfort.  Often times leaving people to wonder if my reason was legitimate.  Which often created many misunderstandings.  Or friends thinking that I only made excuses.  That would be assumed or perceived as if I didn't want to be bothered.  That was far from the case.

      Can you imagine having friends who are aware of your condition.  Even after expressing your symptoms to them.  With hopes they would understand.  Then to be continuously asked to do activities that weren't suitable for a person with a chronic pain condition.  To this day, I know some people still can't fathom it.  Let alone most of them who don't have a clue what you are going through.  Are the same people who insist on doing things that make pain worse.  Wreck less driving. With all of my stomach issues.  That is one of the worst things a person can do.  Or going places and not knowing if I could eat the food.

       The list of outings that are uncomfortable for me to do is a lengthy one.  That's not what bothers me.  I accept the limitations I have from my condition.  I respect and love myself more because of it.  I know that there's a lot that I can do.  That list is endless too.  Yet, these individuals wouldn't even be cultured enough to think outside of the box to come up with another activity to do.  I question if I should even suggest mine.  My main concern is how these inconsiderate individuals react to me when I decline offers. 

       I don't mind losing people along the way.  It's usually the people who don't take the time to comprehend.  They also expect a lot of me.  I have empathy.  I'm not sure why other people don't.  It's sad, you have to go through difficult things in order to see who's really there for you.  However,  I wonder if these people could imagine what it's like for me?  Then maybe they wouldn't be so upset.  No need to be angry if you fully understand the circumstances.  I don't even explain. I just cut them loose...

      The negativity is also something I'm allergic to.  Metaphorically speaking.  I have enough going on in my life physically.  Which affects me emotionally.  I know everyone has their own struggles.  Mines just so happens to be my health.  I also,  love listening to people.  Being there for them that way.  Always optimistic.  Yet, when there's no reciprocity.  Plus negativity, it makes my pain a lot worse.  

      And the timing.  Why would you think I want to go to the club?  Or how can I help you move?  I just had back to back surgery a few weeks prior.  Not to mention the pain that comes with the condition on a daily bases.  I'm in pain 5-6 out of 7 days a week.  I surely want to spend my decent times.  Giving my body a well needed break.  

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