Mango Sauce

     Even though this blog is my personal ranting page.  I'd also like to share some of my favorite quick recipes.  Eating healthy can minimize the effects of endometriosis.  This is my mango sauce recipe.  Mango's support the emotions.  Which helps having this condition.  I make this two or three times a week.  It's similar to homemade applesauce.  Only raw, and a few different ingredients.  It's quick and easy to make.

Items needed

• Good pairing knife
• Blender (I use a Nutribullet, type doesn't matter)
• Cutting board

Ingredients

• 1 Mango
• 1 Lemon (amount depends on taste.  I love lemon, I use a lot.  It probably doesn't help my acid reflux LOL.)
• 1 tsp of Salt (I used himilayan, type depends on preference)
•  2 tsp of Agave (I don't use any sweetener if the mango is ripe.  It's usually sweet)
• Grapes, for tasty garnish

Directions

Cut the skin off the mango.  Next cut the mango into chunks.  So they blend easily.  Cut the lemon, and squeeze the amount of juice you'd like.  Next add the salt,  and agave.  Blend all of the ingredients together.   Scoop into a bowel, add the grapes.  Enjoy!

Battle of the Bulge

     There are many misconceptions about endometriosis and the women who have it.  Women like myself go through many strange circumstances. One of them is having an invisible illness.  Next is what people can see, they chose to ignore.

   Aside from the misconceptions. Which is manly ignorance. There are certain instances that make a woman with endo want to scream.  I always want to remain a lady.  Never loss my cool and modesty.  People being misinformed has lead me to to keep a lot to myself.  What I hold in are the many symptoms and residual side effects from endometriosis.  Endo also causes and is associated with the following:

•  IBS
•  gastrointestinal disorder
•  acid reflux
• diarrhea, nausea
• vomiting
• weight gain
• weight loss
• loss of appetite
• mood swings/hormonal changes
• ovarian cysts
• PMS
• pain during and after intercourse
• painful bowel movements 
• painful urination
• heavy menstrual cycles
• infertility
• pelvic pain/chronic pelvic pain

      That's just to name a few.  It also causes abdominal bleeding.  Which comes from the scar tissue outside of the uterus. Adhesions also experience pain, rupture and bleed with me suffuse cycles.  The tissue reacts the same as it does in the uterus.  Me and my endo ladies that are stages 2-4 experience this monthly.  I have experienced all of the above.  I literally have to retain my reflexes.   From wanting to smack the hell out of people! 

     On top of the debilitating pain we experience in our abdomen.  That scar tissue not only hangs out on your internal organs.  But it loves sitting on nerves too.  We also experience sharp, shooting pain going down our thighs, legs, and feet.  Some women describe it as a stabbing pain.
 It is accompanied by PMS.  Women with endometriosis experience pain before, during, and after menstrual cycles.

     People on the outside looking in assume that we are lazy. That the battle of our bulge is only related to food.  That we women with endo should take time from busy painful lives.  To focus on our stomachs of all things.  Instead of or goals.  That endometriosis deviated us from.  I am speaking for everyone woman with endometriosis.  People are that low and inconsiderate.  The though sickens me.  The struggles on an endo girl are widely misunderstood.  There have been several endometriosis related suicides.  The bullying toward the bulge is brutal.  It comes from not only scar tissue, but many other ailments.  All of which are contained within the abdomen.

     I conceal mines in a cute way.  Disguising it with loose fitting tops.  However, they are also comfortable for me to wear.  The diagnose the disease through surgery.  Which involves blowing up the stomach with carbon dioxide.  So the doctors can see clearly.  Which is uncomfortable  By far the worst gas I've ever had in my life.  I could not breath.  My mother, brother, and father will tell you.  I would cry.  That plus asthma.

      We women are suppose to compliment on another.  Uplift each other.  Women who are concerned with what another woman looks like are insecure.  If you're so confident, there would be no need to address another woman's appearance.  It is October.  National Bully Prevention.  Take action year round.

     This post is for all my sisters who have ever felt ashamed of their tummys.  We are round and proud.  Society has distorted the image of real women.  Let alone women whose conditions have to do with their stomachs.  I think you are beautiful.  Share your stories with me.  On the bottom right side. Or email me at myendometriosisdiary@gmail.com.

The goal of this blog

      I chose to blog for various reasons.  One of them is that I felt misunderstood.  Not only by doctors, but family and friends.  By endometriosis being an invisible illness.  People often think that if you look good.  Then everything must be fine.  With a disease puzzling to doctors.  They often become angry and frustrated.  So treatment can be just as devastating as the illness.  I couldn't even gain comfort from and security from my doctor.  Even people who aware of the details about your struggle with the disease.  From surgeries to pain.  Having discomfort from more than just the menses.  Most of my symptoms were disregarded.  Often by the people who thought they knew me.

      The difficulties of the ill are taken for granted by the healthy.  Nevertheless, it's still hard for people to grasp that physical pain can cause emotional pain.  Feeling misunderstood can lead to isolation.  Being isolated can cause depression.  I have been depressed for a very long time.  I never want to repeat some of the things that have gone through my mind.  I also hide my depression from people.  People's ignorance and misconceptions can cause emotional damage.  All people aren't empathetic towards the ill.  That goes for healthy people and sick people.  Both groups perception is that you aren't sick enough.  They either disregard the symptoms of your illness.  Or use it against you.
   
      This blog is also a place for me to vent my feelings.  I often feel misunderstood.  This has made  me become introverted.  I downplay how I really feel.  Both physically and emotinally.  Even when people ask me how I am.  Let's say I am having a painful day.  Or if it has been a rough week.  I will say that I am fine.  Just so I don't have to go into detail about my discomfort.  People aren't always empathetic towards others.  I can't expect anyone to have sympathy for me.

      Writing in my many journals, still left a void.  I felt that more needed to be done.  Even when I attempted to vent.  Sharing my feelings about my health with family and few close friends.  I would often be disregarded.  I realized that overtime.  People disregard, and fear what they don't understand.  However, during diffiuclt times.  Being ignored can make you feel more lonely.  I'm the opposite.  I am a considerate person.  Not disregarding one.  In the back of my mind, I always wondered about other women who have endometriosis.  Hoping that they didn't have the struggles I've had.

      I've experienced numerous struggles having endometriosis.  I attempted to find salvation.  From seeking advice from other women with the disease.  Attempting to gain perspective from other disabled people.  I searched endlessly for endometriosis support groups.  There isn't a big endometriosis community in the Detroit, MI.  Even the hospitals with specialists didn't have many endometriosis support groups.  One day it came to me.  Something told me to pray for women like myself.  I prayed many times for women like myself.  It helped me get through some of my toughest times struggling with this illness.  I began to remind myself that I am not alone.

       Fact, I am not the only woman with endometriosis.   I have to be resilient.  Bouncing back and pushing through.  Being strong for not only me.  But for many women like myself.  I  realized that this blog isn't just for me.  It is for the many women suffering in silence around the world.  Women, who may not have the same privileges that I've had.  No matter what our blessings are.  We still have to overcome many hardships.  Many women are suffering in silence.   I want to be there for them,  through this blog.  This blog is OUR (women with endometriosis) support group.  My posts are for all my sisters with endometriosis.  Please share your stories with me.  If you feel comfortable, I will post with your permission.

Unveiling

      Hello World.  I am a young woman from Detroit, MI.  This blog is the unveiling of my battle with endometriosis.  I was diagnosed through my forth surgery.
   This forth surgery was an exploratory surgery.  Done at a prestigious local hospital.  The doctors there were kind of enough to have me evaluated by the best of their team.  Who'm were all there for the surgery.  In fact, I still see one of the doctors at the practice.  Seeing how it would cause more scar tissue.  But lets back up a bit.

    Here's the beginning of my journey of struggle with endo.  I believe, as well as every doctor that I have seen.  All agree that I've been dealing with this since my first menses.  Which I got at ten years of age.   My family and doctors agreed that it was also normal due to a family history.  Of early menses.

    Moving forward.  I had my first surgery. While transitioning into college.  It was a laparoscopy for a 10cm cyst.  On my left ovary.  I healed quickly.  Later that year, I had another laparoscopy for a cyst on my right ovary.  I went into shock.  And was carried into the emergency room.  I was in shock, could not speak or not walk.   I was sent home.  My concerned parents called the doctor.  My gynecologist said to come back in right away.  She checked the ER report.  I had a cyst 10cm, and the symptoms meant it was twisting.  Causing torsion.  They performed an emergency laparoscopy.  In attempt to drain the hemorrhagic cyst.
 
    I begged them to at least let m go home for thanksgiving.  I was released.  Still not feeling well.  I went back to ER a few weeks later.  Only to discover that there was another cyst growing on my left ovary.  And that the cyst on my right ovary didn't drain.  Since it was torsion.  They didn't want my ovary to die. From gang green.  No blood supply to the ovary.  So they decided to do surgery just before christmas.  The removed part of my right fallopian tube, and full ovary.  I was put on Lupron following these surgeries for three months.

  After a round of Lupron.  I was put on birth control.  To only have more pain.  After three surgeries in one year.  Attempting to transition into college, was difficult.  My parents took me to a specialist.  They decided to perform Davinci robotic surgery.  Which is very similar to a laparoscopy.  Only two more small incisions.  They discovered, I had endometriosis.  They removed and cauterized what they could.  It was stage IV.  All over my bowels, rectum.  Even, my intestines,  stomach, bladder.  I swore I was coughing up scar tissue.  While on Lupron.

    I was then put on Lupron for six months.  Followed by progesterone therapy.  Which I didn't do to well with.  I was then put on Lupron indefinielty. They switched it to monthly. Which, I felt like my body began to get used to the treatments. They insisted hormone ad back therapy.  Due to the severe weight loss.  And concern over my bones.  Which they also checked via bones density test.  I also cut out really bad foods.  Which I will discuss later.

   A year later.  After the doctor's switched up the Lupron dosages.  I had to have a fifth surgery.  I bleed for 56 days.  Doctors ignored it, until I couldn't walk.  They we're hesitant that another surgery would create more scar tissue.  The doctor trusted me, and did one anyway.  Thank God.  They discovered that my bowels we're wrapped up in my left ovary.  My only one left.  He was able to salvage it.

    I was told that in order to have children.  That I would need IVF.  Broke my heart.  It took me a few months to grieve.  For the hopes I had for my life.  I am strong because of it.  I would like to raise awareness about endometriosis.  Through this blog.  To provided a place where women can come to find solace, peace, and understanding.